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Perpetual Disappointments Diary
Ground yourself with a weekly de-motivational proverb ('If ignorance is bliss, why are you so sad?','Crappe diem') and reminders of Notable Deaths. Travel the world with Useful Phrases translated into four languages ('A table for one, please', 'I have destroyed my hire car'). And save time with templates for Apology and Passive-Aggressive Notes. This may not be your year. But this is definitely your diary.